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The final total usually bears no resemblance to the rate you were expecting.

The hidden taxes that the reservations clerk forgot to mention are tacked on and the final accounting can easily add up to $100 more on a stay of several days.

Local governments just love these taxes. Along with charges on rental cars, they are the fastest growing part of America's geography of taxation.

It is the perfect tax. Politicians don't have to make hometown voters pay. They just stick it to the traveler, who just pays up and goes on his way without making a fuss.

This is Wayne County's strategy, too, for the plan to build a new stadium for the Lions.

There is something almost medieval about the concept; like the troll who lived under a bridge and jumped out to demand payment from the unsuspecting traveler.

But it's no updated version of The Three Billy Goats Gruff. There is only one goat in this story, and it's the traveler.

The tax isn't fair, but if everyone else is doing it, we may as well take advantage. After all, travelers from this area are constantly underwriting projects in cities they'll never see again.

But even in the finest hotels you get the feeling you are being nibbled to death by mice. A state tax here. A county tax there. And a little bitty city tax under your pillow.

Frequently they pile on an additional 15 percent to the bill. It's like being forced to pay a tip without getting any service.

Then, just to rub salt in the wound, the hotel doesn't credit the tax payment toward your "frequent traveler" points. Nations have gone to war for less than this.

But I really don't buy the argument that it puts some local hotels at a competitive disadvantage.

If you have business in downtown Detroit -- and with the move of General Motors into the Ren Cen, that is more likely than it has been in recent years -- you're not going to stay in Oakland County to save a few bucks in taxes. When measured against commuting costs and wasted time, the additional dollars are negligible.

It's like a guy who drives 20 miles out of the way to save $1.10 on a gasoline bill.

There also are other hotel charges that are far more vexing. Chief among them is the 75 cents that many of them tack on for making a phone call, even though you dial it yourself on automatic equipment.

I have stayed in places that charged me that total for an 800 number call. I stay in such places only once.

Along with the food at turnpike rest stops and the designated hitter, I think it is part of a master plot to demoralize America.

Then there are the hotels that sell health club memberships to local residents to use their pool. When you, the paying guest, go down for a swim, you find that all the lounge chairs are taken and 27 children under the age of 5 are screaming in the water.

For this I need to travel?

Better to stay home, pay taxes to people I know, make calls on my own phone and go to bed without finding some cheap mint lying on my pillow as a token of affection.